THE MARITAL CONFLICTS CONTEXT 

THE MARITAL CONFLICTS CONTEXT: THE HELP-MEET [DIVINE] VS THE HELP-MATE [HUMAN] IN SCRIPTURAL CONTEXT AND PURPOSE! 

“And the Lord God said, It is NOT GOOD that the man should be ALONE (in PLAN, PURPOSE AND PURSUIT); I will make him an HELP MEET (to fulfill PLAN, PURPOSE AND PURSUIT) for him” Genesis 2:18 (Emphasis Mine). 

And God BLESSED them – male (Adam) and female (Eve); for in God’s marital plan – MARRIAGE IS BLESSED not CURSE, more so, it’s not a CURSE thing as some may have acclaimed and or associated respectively because of the difficulties and challenges. And every marital couple is CALLED to INHERIT a BLESSING – [1 Peter 3:9 (1-12)]. When God made and makes you or anything, He made and makes them good and beautiful. You are not accidental – you are of purpose with God’s eternal spirit in you to sense God in His realm of eternity. Hence you are a spirit being with eternal spirit in your humanity that will never die. 

“He has made EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL in its time. He also has planted ETERNITY in men’s hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end” Ecclesiastes 3:11/Amplified Classic Edition  

“I will praise You, for I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well” Psalms 139:14 [10-18]/NKJV.  

And in God’s definition of the MARITAL relationship plan, purpose and pursuit – MARRIAGE is GOOD and BEAUTIFUL and is ASSURED to ensure it – to be SORROW FREE in God’s eternal intent; for the BLESSING of God MAKES rich, He add no SORROW and CONFUSION with it as the SCRIPTURES enjoined, for God is not the Author or creator of any form of CONFUSION, especially on MARITAL context. The conflicts and confusion that have resulted to Believer’s in Christ Jesus marital indifference, divorce and lots of complexity in relationships, may have all started at the foundational stand at the start or within process of the relationship – which could have being as a result of one or both parties walking away knowingly and or unknowingly from God’s biblical definition and context, to create a very healthy relationship in spite of any differences that the individual may come with or have but unwilling to resolve by the Scriptural context for that relationship. 

“And God BLESSED them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth” Genesis 1:28 [26-28]. 

“Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: [9] not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise BLESSING; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should INHERIT A BLESSING” 1 Peter 3:8-9 [8-12]. 

“The BLESSING of the LORD, it maketh rich, And he addeth NO SORROW with it” Proverbs 10:22. 

“For God is not the AUTHOR OF CONFUSION, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints” 1 Corinthians 14:33. 

Sorrow is the consequence of human frail nature and deprivation, and the intent to live outside God’s Scriptural context. Be it known today, that when the PURPOSE of a thing is MISUSED, MISUNDERSTOOD, MISCONSTRUED, MISINTERPRETED and MISAPPROPRIATED, then ABUSE and ABUSIVENESS takes its root and cause – and results sorrowfully. The term ABUSE means in essence, the – ABNORMAL USE or ABNORMAL BEHAVIOUR of anything from the original and prescribed intent – and in marriage or marital relationship context, it’s simply for the lack of knowledgeable understanding of God’s definition and intent [PLAN, PURPOSE and PURSUIT] in marriage. This is likened to or a result of ‘MEN’ who don’t LEAD but are BOSSY, and ‘WOMEN’ who don’t FOLLOW but SUBVERT DIVERGENTLY their places in grace to suit individuals’ intent and context of definition – and knowingly and unknowingly, that it’s contrary to scriptural demands and context. Hence, we see some major reason for extreme ‘Marital Conflict and Confusion’ in the Christian Faith and it’s irrespective of status. And the consequence is that our PRAYERS, means of communion to enhance our relationship with the creator of marriage, is HINDERED and INEFFECTUAL – means hit the rock with a higher steep to climb from what should have been very simple and simplified in God’s original intent. 

“In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an UNDERSTANDING way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an INTELLIGENT regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your PRAYERS WILL NOT BE HINDERED or INEFFECTIVE” 1 Peter 3:7 [7-12]/Amplified. 

Know full well that GOD WILL ONLY COMMEND WHAT HE COMMANDS. As such, when HELP-MEET becomes HELP-MATE as a result of NO LEADERSHIP and FOLLOWERSHIP to Scriptural context and demands, what then do you expect to happen in such unscriptural context? There will be absence of the ENABLING GRACE and EMPOWERING BLESSEDNESS of God’s WORD, to make such relationship BECOME what God intended it to be in His PLAN, PURPOSE and PURSUIT; this is what then makes every human effort and investment in time, finance, material and such like to END up in CONFUSION and FRUSTRATION – And as human intent is MADE to override, God’s intent [PLANS, PURPOSES AND PURSUITS] in marital causes will be HINDERED [INOPERATIVE]; more so, it will become as in many cases, a VAIN CAUSE that OUGHT not to have been started and ventured into. That’s just one of the major aspects while Apostle Paul in his scriptural context, will make known to all of his intent to stay on purpose by not frustrating the enabling grace that’s available to him to do the gospel assignment and be fulfilled in it, as he scripturally stated. 

“I do not FRUSTRATE the GRACE of God: for if RIGHTEOUSNESS (GOD’S INTENT) come by the LAW (MAN’S DEFINITION), then Christ is DEAD in VAIN” Galatians 2:21/Emphasis Mine. 

Effective MANAGEMENT of any proven good, and thriving cause, is born in the LEADERSHIP and FOLLOWERSHIP that makes it be. Meaning, if you as a MAN want your WOMAN to provide you the ANGELIC needed HELP MEET, provide her the HEAVENLY atmospheric LEAD and LEADERSHIP that is desirable of Angels – [Hebrews 1:7, 14; Psalms 103:20]; for ANGELS don’t dwell in HELL to provide and give the good deeds as DESIRED of them from God. You can’t hold God’s TRUTH in UNRIGHTEOUS BEHAVIOUR and expects a heavenly outpour of God’s RIGHTEOUSNESS in His BLESSEDNESS. God will only COMMEND what He COMMANDS. Same is applicable too of any marital woman [wife] who WANTS a heavenly husband but UNPREPARED and not READY to FOLLOW his LEAD and LEADERSHIP accordingly, as Sarah FOLLOWED Abraham in scriptural context of God’s LEAD in her husband. You can be keen to have a virtuous wife while you can’t be a faithful husband or wants to have a faithful man while you are not set to be a virtuous wife. God’s word is not bound and can’t be broken to expect the effects on your marital stands in the grace. 

“For the WRATH of God is REVEALED from heaven against all UNGODLINESS AND UNRIGHTEOUSNESS OF MEN, WHO HOLD THE TRUTH IN UNRIGHTEOUSNESS; 19 because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them” Romans 1:18-19. 

“. . . 6 even as Sara OBEYED Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye ARE, as long as ye DO well, and are not AFRAID with any amazement . . . “ 1 Peter 3:1-12 (Ephesians 5:21-31). 

“Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: But a FAITHFUL man who can find?” Proverbs 20:6. 

“Who can find a VIRTUOUS woman? For her price is far above rubies” Proverbs 31:10. 

TAKE TIME NOW TO PAUSE and THINK carefully on this note and context below in respects to your marital stands in the grace. 

In SCRIPTURAL terms, the word ‘HELP MEET’ as in Genesis 2:18, is the same INTERPRETATION not in TRANSLATION, called PARACLETE as in Romans 8:26, which speaks of the Holy Spirit, who is our BEING HELPER; He’s our enabling HELPER in weakness and strength, to help us meet up and be qualified to God’s demands and obligations in life and grace. Hence, we can say He is our HELP MEET to make up to God’s BLESSEDNESS and not a HELP-MATE TO COMPETE AND FIGHT with, either within and without, and by any measure, in order to fulfill God’s SCRIPTURAL demands in His BLESSEDNESS. 

When God made the man ADAM [male], He gave him an assignment that is PRINCIPLED with RESPONSIBILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY long before the woman EVE [female] the wife was made. Indicating that male folks have an assignment from God, knowingly or unknowingly – ignorance is not an excuse, hence there’s the need for self-discovery before considering any marital relationships. And it is in the order to ACHIEVE the given divine assignment in BLESSEDNESS, that God provides a HELPER or HELP-MEET as it’s written: 

“And the Lord God said, It is NOT GOOD that the man should be ALONE [in PLAN, PURPOSE AND PURSUIT]; I will make him an HELP MEET [to fulfill PLAN, PURPOSE AND PURSUIT] for him” Genesis 2:18/Emphasis Mine. 

“Likewise the Spirit also HELPS our infirmities [weakness and limitations]: for we KNOW NOT what we SHOULD pray for as we OUGHT: but the Spirit itself MAKETH intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered” Romans 8:26/Emphasis Mine. 

We can end all these divergent confusion and daily crises in MARITAL RELATIONSHIP places when we maintain in life and grace that which God has allowed us to be. Be PROFOUNDLY and INTENTIONALLY HAPPY of what God MADE you be for His plan, purpose and pursuit, and therein you will find meaningful and purposeful FULFILMENT in God in Christ Jesus stead. 

Therefore, know for sure again, that God only COMMENDS obedience to what He COMMANDS. Any breaking of His Word as Adam did to satisfy the statuesque outside His BLESSEDNESS, will make God’s Word and enabling grace for the individual inoperative. It’s for this and such like, that many Believers today live beneath the FULLNESS made available for them by God in His BLESSEDNESS in Christ Jesus – who is our REDEMPTION DEED, Saviour and Lord. 

Henceforth, let the man show forth the genuine SCRIPTURAL leadership and the woman same like in following the man’s lead in marital setting. For its when the Woman wants to FOLLOW and the Man is BOSSY instead of showing leadership, there will be wahala, that’s trouble. In same scenario, when a man offers LEADERSHIP and the woman can’t submit to follow for whatsoever reasons, there’s bound to be confusion and chaos. That’s the foundation to all other conflicts and side effects respectively. And it’s only by a righteous stand in God’s order that the righteous can restore the broken and shaken marital foundations to its rightful place in the grace – [Psalms 11:3; 1 Corinthians 3:11-14]. Our God is not the AUTHOR nor CREATOR of the confusion and unnecessary self-afflicted pains as we see today maritally. 

I pray that your MARITAL RELATIONSHIP will find a daily meaningful and purposeful FULFILMENT in God’s BLESSEDNESS in Christ Jesus stead. Amen. 

Blessed regards. 

SCRIPTURAL THOUGHTS WORTH PONDERING IN CONTEXT: 

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [3] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [5] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [6] even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. [7] Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. [8] Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: [9] not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; KNOWING THAT YE ARE THEREUNTO CALLED, THAT YE SHOULD INHERIT A BLESSING. [10] For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: [11] let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it. [12] For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil” 1 Peter 3:1-12. 

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. [23] For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. [24] Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. [25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, [26] that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, [27] that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. [28] So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. [30] For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. [31] “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. [33] Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” Ephesians 5:22-33/NKJV. 

REV. CHUKIE MORSI